I have decided to divide this blog into two parts, one will be totally personal, whereas the another will be the sheer extension of the current blog. The current blog will be available for personal audiences only who will get authorization after invitations. They will be 35 in total because WordPress allows only 35 invitations for a private blog. I will invite few people and others may request for the invitation by sending me email IDs.

The new public blog is shifted to my own personalized domain and the URL is – http://bayard.dreamworkers.in/. So, from the next time, I will request you to prefer browsing the new blog.

Few articles from this blog will be removed from here. These articles are available at the new blog. Here is the list of all such articles with their permanent links for the references.

Main blog
The Poetry Book
In one month (15th of July), All of the above articles will be deleted from here and this blog will be made private. Also, all new articles will be posted at the new blog only.

Hope to see you all reading and writing feedbacks at the new blog of mine. Till then, take cares!

याद है, जब मैं तुम्हे शिफौन पहनने को कहा करता था,
तुम शरमा के लाल हो जाती
और चुपके से हँसते हुए,
मेरे कंधे पर चेहरा छुपाकर मेरा गरदन चूम लेती थी.
आज जब भी मुझे
आलमीरे में वो शिफौन नज़र आता है,
मेरे कंधे पे एक आहट होती है
और वही, उस रात वाली,
सोंधी सी महक.
पीछे मुड़कर देखता हूँ तो कुछ भी नज़र नहीं आता.
वो कोहरा आज भी
मेरे गिर्द
ज़र्द होकर पड़ा है.

एक दिन तुमने
पागलों की तरह मुझे खींच कर
अपने जिस्म के आलिंगन में बाँध लिया था.
याद है, उस दिन
मेरे हाथों को अपने बदन से लिपटा पाकर
तुम्हारा जिस्म थर-थर काँपने लगा था,
मेरे पीठ सहलाने पर तुम तो धीरे-धीरे शांत हो गई थी,
लेकिन मेरा अस्तित्व
आज तक वैसे ही काँप रहा है,
वो तूफान कभी थमने का नाम ही नहीं लेता.
तुम्हारे जाने के बाद
मैंने अपने स्वेटर को तेरी खुशबू से लबरेज़ पाया था,
वो मेरे आलमीरे में अब तक पड़ा है.

इस शहर में अब धुँध नहीं होती,
सिर्फ़ धुआँ दिखता है.
आज जब भी अपने होंठों पे हाथ फिराता हूँ,
तुम्हारा एहसास वहीं का वहीं पाता हूँ
और आईने में ख़ुद को हिलता नज़र आता हूँ.
रोज़ रात को जब तुम्हारी याद आती है,
मैं उठकर आलमीरा खोल देता हूँ,
जिस तरह मैं तुम्हारे लिए अपने घर का दरवाजा खोला करता था,
वो सोंधी से महक अब भी वहीं लेटी है.
और वो कुहरा,
मेरे बिस्तर में रात भर पैर समेटे सोता रहता है.

मेरी अन्य कवितायेँ(My other poems)

most people are fixated on the Rs 1 lakh figure?
Tata: That’s for India.

On critics:
we are looking at congestion in the top major cities. Have we got affordable family transport in the two tier and three tier cities? Is it their lot not to have a vehicle? The huge potential lies when India gets connected in the rural areas.

On the idea to build Nano:
In this particular case, you could not help but notice there were three-four family members on a scooter with a kid standing in the front, the guy driving and his wife sitting side saddle holding a little kid. When you are driving a car, you say to yourself to be careful, you know they may slip and fall.

On loneliness:
Right now, I am in a very lonely phase. It’s attracting a lot of attention, positive and negative. Everybody is taking potshots at this. They started to leave me alone, they begged me to distance myself from the project. If things get ok, then of course everybody is your friend again. But it gets, just as you said, fairly lonely.

Source: Times of India

The baseline and the theme of last year was about being a true wanderer and being full of joy, happiness, celebration, and sense of satisfaction. The almost 24 years of life had given me too many regrets and the last year was quite destined to equate the imbalance. And I did it, enthusiastically and completely. It was indeed an awesome year, and I kept celebrating my silver jubilee year. The celebration went on and on. I enjoyed this. The endeavors, at first sight, seemed irrational but I found it quite rational, having its own reasons on its own terms. For the first time in my life, materialistic happiness helped me to get spiritual happiness. Or, the attainment of spiritual happiness led me to enjoy material happiness. Whatever! It was fun anyways. The beautiful thing was that I did what I wanted to do at that time. Every miniscule event occurred because I wanted to enjoy them. Random, unpredicted, and romantic. I liked that, beside the fact that it was no way concerned with any of the visionary thing. I liked it more because it was quite earthy and it made me close to myself. And of course, it is a year which I’ll always cherish.

Just like the coin which never exists with only one side, the year had the experiences from the other side also. This other side is not the wrong side, rather it can be correctly identified as a darker side where your quest to enlighten only grows. Mostly came in picture during the start of the year which ended soon, then there were occasionally occurrences of soar moments, and lastly some randomly generated celestial feelings. Though none of them could engulf me or overrule the realm of my mood. Something, nevertheless, kept hunting me. Throughout the year, I also continued feeling a void which, at the end, came out in a different form – a sense of restlessness. Sometimes, it was also like skepticism towards the essence of all the activities. As I make it out now, this is the point which was the child of the materialistic happiness and the mother of a spiritual journey. The journey of happiness and celebrating life. The signature tune of the realness. Something that keeps me going, learning, and finding, which further reverberates the tales of a true wanderer. At the end of each moment, I feel content yet thirsty. Knowingness or the understanding of unknowingness? Not sure. I come to learn more yet come to understand that I need to learn much more. A string of enchanting moments which further adjoin with each other to form a finely tuned rhythm, whereas unsure about the next moment and unknown to the preceding one. Being joyous in uncovering an answer which is a collection of several other questions yet the quest of wisdom never dies. Having pride being a traveler who halts at each milestone to take rest yet doesn’t consider it a wrongdoing or violation of the values of journey. A musician who can hum the beats anywhere be it a maternity home, love dale, or a deathbed yet wins over every foot which can catch the rhythm, reciprocate, and dance. A journey which is full of scattered, intertwined, zigzagged, endless, and landscaped paths and all of them are sacred and sanctimonious. A bookshelf which is full of fables and poetries. A quench which nurture the quest and a life which lives itself.

Quite an enlightening experience I had, indeed! And this was the year which taught me all this. There are few more things that I would like to uncover here. All of these are by-products of the experiments and experiences I went through last year. First, desires, whatever they are, can’t be fulfilled until they are not completely explored. Fulfillment of desires means you get or receive or accomplish them. These desires can be anything and so do the process of getting them. Fulfillment or attainment of them doesn’t mean that it ended the thirst to attain them. It means you got what you wanted to get but you haven’t yet enjoyed this. Until you don’t utilize or enjoy this attainment, derivatives or process, the thirst will still be on. It’s something like you desired for a palace and you bought it, but you haven’t been able to live inside it. A bud of rose is not beautiful till it grows up as a flower. Exploration is a step next to discovery. The same happened to me and my convictions helped me. Not only I explored my desires but also I nurtured the craving. The attaining process was amazing and the accomplishment made me content. I was no more longing for the same thing after that. It was also about understanding that the craving and desires had no vice, whatever desire it was. If you truly want something, that desire has to be sacred and the craving has to be a virtue. Yet the attainment can be a mirage where you had to take a bit rest and then continue the journey. It can also be a beautiful barrier which looks like a miracle in a desert and gives a feeling of being at the destination. This is a point where you could either enjoy and move on or be delighted and stay. Either none-ness to oneness or there will be synonymous moments appearing like continued forever. And what is needed here is the thorough exploration.

Another important thing was that I enjoyed almost everything. The process and involvement were not singular, it was rather multi-dimensional. Not related or intertwined to each other, sometimes even opposite. But when you are in the mood, nothing does matter. I also explored everything and never proceeded with the formulas and theories. I made my own recipe, cooked, and tasted the cuisines first-handed. The suspicion and heterodoxy was over. At the same time, it also broke the convention and ideas.

Further, the quest and the passion only increased with this celebration. I even found myself too closed to them with joy and greater involvement and suchlike. It won’t be surprising if someday I feel oneness with them, being a part of them or making them a part of mine. Or rather showcasing a different, unique entity formed by them and me.

There are few more things but I am quite unable to pen them down. You know, there are some thoughts which can make you thought-less. You know what it is but you can’t tell or describe. Sometimes, you can only feel but can’t know what it is. And besides, the essences can also have a quintessence. Who knows, next year the quintessence itself will write its own stories. The mirage might be beautiful yet a cliché whereas the desert might have buried more amazing figurines and captivating fables underneath. There might also be a truth behind all the truths. Who knows! Who knows where the quintessence lies.

Hence, I wish the exploration gets continued and the quest and thirst only increases with each discovery and attainment. I wish the celebrations celebrate themselves and the joy enjoys itself. I wish the life continues living itself and the essences continues uncovering their quintessence themselves. I wish the journey never ends with the roads and the milestone comes after each mile of walking yet doesn’t appear as a destination. I wish that, during the journey, I take the path which I think is right and be able to choose the road which I want to. And I hope the wishes come true. I hope.

(यहाँ पलकों पे बिठाने का मतलब बहुत कुछ हो सकता है, जैसे, हमेशा बकवास सुनना, कभी नही डांटना, हमेशा डांट सुनना, हर बात पे अपनी गलती कबूल करना, माफ़ी माँगना, जो कहा जाए वह करना, जैसे कहा जाए वैसे करना, जितना कहा जाए उतना करना. तो कहने का मतलब यह है कि ऐसी स्थिति में सिर्फ़ पलकों पे बिठाने से काम नही चलने वाला. इस कार्यक्रम के अंतर्गत बहुत सारी बातें हो सकती हैं, जैसे – पलकों पे बिठाना, लेटाना, उठाना, चढाना, लटका देना, ब्लेह, ब्लेह… और आख़िर में अपने पलकों पे हुंक लगा के, रस्सी बाँध के, और दूसरा सिरा अपने गले में लटका के ख़ुद ही लटक जाना)

लड़का – हेंह!! क्यों? (सिर ऊपर उठाते हुए)
लड़की – मैं तुमसे प्यार करती हूँ न इसलिए! (अगराते हुए, थोडी शोख अदा में)
लड़का – वो तो मैं भी तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ.
लड़की – लल्लू, मैं तुमसे बहूत ज्यादा प्यार करती हूँ तो तुम इतना तो करोगे ही मेरे लिए.
लड़का – मैं भी उतना ही करता हूँ. तुमने कहाँ ऐसा कुछ किया मेरे साथ!
लड़की – तो तुम मुझे पलकों पे बिठा के नही रखोगे जानू! तुम ऐसा करोगे?
लड़का – और नही तो क्या, तुमने कौन सा पलकों पे रखा है मुझे!
लड़की – तुम मुझे प्यार नही करते!
लड़का – कितनी बार एक ही बात बोलूं राजमाता!
लड़की – तुमने इनकार किया इसका मतलब तो यही लगता है.
लड़का – जी नही मोहतरमा! इसका मतलब यह है कि मैं भी आपसे उतना ही प्यार करता जितना आप मुझसे. तो या तो हम दोनों एक दुसरे के पलकों पे लेते रहते हैं नही तो कोई भी नही!
लड़की – I hate you.
लड़का – Okay!
लड़की – मैं जा रही हूँ.
लड़का – ठीक है.
लड़की – हमेशा के लिए! (पाँव पटकते हुए कमरे से बाहर निकल जाती है)
लड़का – बाय! (लड़का अपनी कुर्सी पे, लड़की दरवाजे के बाहर, और फ़िर सब कुछ खुशनुमा हो जाता है)

(just a time-pass…coz the winter is too beautiful outside.)

उनकी पेशवा आंखें,
ठहरी बदहवास साँसे,
क्षुब्ध चेहरे से कुछ लम्हें धीरे से खाँसें -
क्या खोजते हो इस जहाँ में,
बिना छ्त के इस मकाँ में?

बुने थे कुछ चेहरे, चुने थे कुछ रिश्ते,
फ़िर फरिश्तों की ईंट से था घर इक बनाया.
चेहरे मुँह बाये खड़े रहे,
दीवार छ्त को खा गए,
आंखें स्तब्ध, ज़ुबाँ खामोश, न जाने कैसे ये मंजर आया.

मेरे लफ़्ज़ों से फूटे
चंद जुम्ले मुतबस्सुम-
बहते बादलों से जन्मे
एक बूँद ही हैं हम तुम.
सावन, आषाढ़, या सर्दी की हो लहरें,
झील, झरने, या नदी में हम ठहरें,
तेरे टूटे हुए छ्त या टपकें हरे दूब पे,
मुख्तलिफ परिभाषाएं, पर बूँद ही हैं हम तुम.

मिटटी के घर की छतों से बने शहरें,
या हो फ़िर देशों की सीमाओं पे पहरें,
घर की कमरों में क़ैद हवा
या तो सड़ जायेगी
या फ़िर छ्त तोडके उड़ जायेगी.
मुख्तलिफ रिश्ते, दोस्ती, नाते, वास्ते,
अलग-अलग कमरों जैसे
छ्त खोजते हुए दीवारों से जकडे राब्ते.

जितने बड़े रिश्ते, उतनी बड़ी जंजीरें,
जितनी चौडी दोस्ती, उतनी बंद कुशादगी.
और टूटी हुई छ्त
अट्टहास लगाती, याद दिलाती -
आकाश है प्रेम
जो खुले कायनात में पलता है,
हवा की दीवारों
और दूब की धरती में ही
सतरंगी खुशबू से नीला छ्त ढलता है.

तेरे बनाये घर से दबी है कायनात
सिसकती सदायें और बिखरे हयात,
बिला खौफो-खतर ये सफर छोड़ दो
बिना छ्त की बनी हर घर तोड़ दो,
खोज सच की है तो आओ दरवेश चलें
चरगे-इश्क दिल में जला गृहप्रवेश करें.

   
शब्दकोश:
तकसीम-बंटवारा, तीरगी-अँधेरा, पेशवा- ज्ञानी, मंजर-दृश्य, मुतबस्सुम-मुस्कुराते हुए, मुख्तलिफ-भिन्न-भिन्न, तरह तरह के, कुशादगी-खुलापन, कायनात-धरती, सदायें-आवाजें, हयात-जीवन, बिला खौफो-खतर -भय और दुःख के बिना, दरवेश-पवित्र स्थल.

मेरी अन्य कवितायेँ(My other poems)

Ravi Shastri to Dhoni: Congratulations to you and the whole Indian team for winning this world cup. You guys have produced a great nail baiting show.. and deserves the cup. We welcome you to share the joy with us.
Dhoni: Thanks Ravi, the match was pretty close encounter between two great teams and our guys held the nerve to win the game and cup.
Shastri: Who was the main reason for this thrilling victory?
Dhoni: All us played well but I would say the main reason and man behind this great victory is Ajit Agarkar
Shastri(Shocked): Agarkar ? ? .. how come Agarkar… he didn’t even play in the final!
Dhoni: Yeaph.. that’s the reason we won this low scoring match.. if he could have bowled in final, Pakistan would have scored the winning runs from his 4 overs….
Shastri: ok.. fine, To whom you want to thank for winning this final.
Dhoni: The team doctor deserves the credit… he really helped us to prepare for the final.
Shastri: Is it? ?…. how the doctor helped to prepare for the final. He is not the coach or physical trainer…Dhoni.. I am getting confused.
Dhoni: Ravi… nothing to confuse… he has failed Sehwag in the fitness test according to our game plan and we managed to pick a good playing team.. thus we weigh the doctor’s contribution as very high… in fact its better than our team effort in the field.. our game tactic worked well.
Shastri: To whom you want to dedicate this World Cup?
Dhoni: The entire team including myself wants to dedicate this cup to Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly…
Shastri: I really really appreciate you… its good that you have so much respect to the seniors….and you.
Dhoni(interrupts): Ravi.. let me complete… India would have exited in the Group matches if they decided to play in the series… thank god they opted out and we managed to play cricket and won the cup.
Shastri: The match was thrilling encounter and was concluded by a single mistake of Misbah.. Isn’t it?
Dhoni: Yes you are right, after lofting the ball Misbah told me that he has sent the ball to where there was no one….but he didn’t know that there is a malayali in every corner of the world…. This single mistake finished the game and we won the cup.

Shastri faints…
Dhoni receives the Trophy…
thats the end of the great Twenty-20 world cup!!!

[Source unknown, received from Prashant via email] 

BCCI Mailbox

Mailbox of George W Bush

click here to see the complete version

Early dawn,
and some dripple dews
on yellowish maple leaves.
All afresh, but ebbing away,
and continuously playing on my heaves.

Amidst the beauty
the sleep was still on my nerves.
Two eyes were reading newspapers
and the heart
was stumbling on the curves.
Read more here…
(permanent link)