Feeling Awesome

3 06 2006

Although there is no any specific and excellent reason, I’m feeling happy these days. Things seem to be awesome now. The problems and troubles are still the same, still no greatest achievements, no miracles, and even no jackpot. Actually, it’s the state of my mind that is now being managed by my heart. That’s the reason, perhaps, my basic instinct and character have started taking their growing state. When I look back, I feel that I’ve lost them somewhere in the path I’ve traversed last months… and when I saw the inkling of their apperance(may be pseudo..or foggy), I decicded to welcome them…very optimistically, heartily, and strangely too. I’m neither afraid of anything (like, future, money, life, career, etc) nor centric towards anything (love, success) now. Though this is not a complete state, rather its just a tiny part of that I have had. But, as they say, the desire is somewhat more important that getting something completely. I admit that I was loosing several things for getting my desires. It’s was not a sin, nevertheless, I realize now that it was not the absolute and correct way. Midst of sky, I watched stars and I watch holes in the corner of my house. It looked strange and scared me. I didn’t know that how to start laughing again. And then, few rays of hopes arrived and they cleared the darkness and the mist and then came something filled with energy. I can imagine about the advantages (hehe…stared looking for business, even here). It is possible that I won’t feel sadness when I become failure when the rays of hope depart or I don’t get (desires/dreams) what I’m hoping/expecting for… if the reason is not this momentum, then it must be the trials and the sadness and the struggles I’m coming through…and they are still alive…but I don’t care abt their existence at all..

“To do what you like is FREEDOM
To like what you do is HAPPINESS”

There is no limit

2 06 2006

Yesterday morning, I got bored from work and I started searching some interviews and speeches by Steve Jobs. I found many and I posted one of them here. Just after, I got back to work. When I returned to my home after working for 10 hours and traveling in bus for 3 hours….I lost any courage to work at home for DreamWorkers’ clients. But I worked for 3 hours again coz I had to. Later, I thought about reading stuffs related to Steve. I read the speech again and thereafter, few more articles and interviews and speeches. I don’t want to make any comments on his life and works. But, I don’t know why, it led to ejaculate some very strange feelings within my heart. I read his statements when he was fired from Apple. Few of his words were like this– “You’ve probably had somebody punch you in the stomach and it knocks the wind out you and you cannot breathe. The harder you try to breathe, the more you cannot breathe. And you know that the only thing you can do is just relax so you can start breathing again.”

In fact, I cried when I read his response at that moment. He said — How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, does it seem possible? But, it happened. He spent days bicycling along the beach, feeling sad and lost, toured Paris, and journeyed on to Italy. I don’t know how it feels like and I can never afford to accept it in my life. I mean, u got screwed in your childhood, u dropped out in your young age, u sold all ur luxury stuffs, and struggled to create a milestone….and still, u got succeeded. And one day, u found out that u r not the part of your own creation, you have no acquaintance with your own child. Can anything be more disastrous than this? I guess, no! And in later years, u revitalized yourself (how he did it, only he knows) and created NeXT, Pixar, iPod, iTunes, and numerous other revolutions. Whew! I failed to imagine.

Sometimes in our lives, we feel like dying and we start being still. In fact, it’s quite strange coz it’s not even the feeling of death..well, leave the holy experience behind. We find it hard to survive from very little debacles. Our tears eventually dissolve the trail what we have left behind us. We all carry out the moments of trials and traumas…..still, few have made it. There are lots of stories like this and everyone has done it in own ways. There is no standard that can lead you there. You have to have the calling and the courage. You have to call your soul to produce all its spirits. And still, it is as vital as the death that anyone can do it, anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances. Everything depends upon the dawn and rise of the light within our souls.

Steve had described it quite better that we have to learn to connect the dots. And eventually, each moment from our pasts carries a dot. We just need to take references from our own lives and these dots will make a highway that we have never imagined for…like a miracle and like a adventure. Stay foolish and stay hunger, isn’t it?